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With this stuff in mind, the need to spy on spouse's text message was felt. In case you have a feeling that your spouse is cheating on you then.

According to NYC relationship expert Susan Winter , there are many motivating reasons for repeated infidelity.

She says it could simply be the desire for personal validation. This proves their worth. And the more hits of recognition and personal validation gained, the better the cheater feels about themselves. It could also be about a feeling of entitlement, says Winter. For some, Winter says the impetus to cheat is about unhappiness in a relationship, explaining that "serial cheaters If their spouse is constantly belittling them, cheating is one way of getting even.

It shifts the power dynamic and feels like a win for the partner that holds long-standing resentments. Or it could simply boil down to self-esteem issues.

I love my husband but I can’t stop cheating on him because I’m hooked on the attention

Understanding why people are unfaithful is one thing, but what about serial cheaters who want to change their ways? The short answer is yes and, well, no. One of the ways to help break out of the cheating pattern is to make it much harder to keep secrets from a partner. Not only will this reduce the chances of you slipping back into old behaviors, but total transparency is a good way to help rebuild the trust you and your partner may have lost.

It's paramount to build trust back up again. That can take a long time but it begins with being completely upfront and ensuring that your words match your actions time and time again. What does that mean?

– This is how you stop your partner from cheating - Esther Perel - SVT/NRK/Skavlan

Well, simply own it and be open about the fact that monogamy is not for you. This eliminates your need for lying and betrayal. I regret so much. But I will heal coz God will give me resilience and heart to overcome forget and move on. What have you tried so far? You can do it here or in your private journal.

I have a wife and 3 beautiful children and I cannot stop cheating on her. The pain in her eyes and the way she looks at me kills me. I have been with my husband for 16 years. I have cheated on him over 10 times. I cheated on him with his brother. I love my husband all together we have seven children. Three are mine and four of them are ours. One of our children died at the age of two and a half months old that just made my cheating worse. I really want to do right by my husband this time. He stays so angry with me and constantly throws it up in my face so that I have to live it down every day.

When all I want to do is forget about it and move on. I know why I cheat and I know what to do to prevent it from happening. I have asked him about buying those CDs. I feel in my heart that my cheating days are over.


I want to grow stronger and be a better person please help. Hi im a cheater and with my last affair the guy wants me to have a divorce and go live with him and thats when i realised in so deep down and so very sad ive got 2 daughters who will break when i leave. Ive hurt the guy so badly i feel i wanna die. Please can you help me im so messed up and depressed. I have read so many books on how to leave someone you love and even encouraged him to go to marriage counseling. Should I just cut ALL ties with this man.

Never talk to him again ,never text him again? At one point in my life I thought if you loved me you had to have be intimate with me, haha joke was on me. It just happens. I am messed up and I know I will do it again and again and again.

Stop Cheating on Your Boyfriend or Husband - VisiHow

He knows about my past and how it impacts me still today. But sometimes for us girls, our past impacts us and our brains justify cheating to make it ok so we can move on in our everyday lives. I been married for 12 years. I can say that our married life is too complicated. I never felt happy in our relationship. I never felt that he loves me. I did everything to satisfy him especially in sex life just to get his attention to love me fully.

But sad to say that I am fail for what I am longing. Time passes by I know that he have another woman. That really makes me crazy. I always keep crying. I felt a self pity to myself. He is the reason why I cheat him.

It really so bad. But I decide to stop this foolishness coz guilt is always in my heart. I had a 6 years relationship. It was successful, caring n loving but we all need to build a life. We both worked hard to make it work until, he said he needed someone too, after that we stayed together successfully for 1 year and a half until he found his way out.

The dreams of a lifetime love are gone now. I have to fix myself now n from there fix my family too, who never knew but were neglected. Picking up the pieces now. I m honestly telling u, leave the other. I went through that, we worked hard to stay together n meet to stay together, but as much as we madly loved I still do each other, he found his way out, he needed someone closer as we all need. No one can live out of txt, calls n skype. I m totally crushed. I thought I was going to get a heart attack out of the pain of losing him, I still feel so sad, ugly n lost.

So beg u, find your way out. I love a women that is thousands of miles away, I say I am Christian but I do not act like it. I am so in the same shoes. It sucks. I love my wife. She is the mother of my children but I can honestly say I love the other woman as well. I feel helpless. I cant continue to live a double life bit idk how to stop. I feel stuck. I agree. What is wrong with me? I have always suffered from low self esteem and think that is the root of my problem.

To feel desired by someone makes me feel worthy. At the end of the day this is killing me inside. I am going crazy inside. I love my husband and he loves me. Why is it not enough?

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Please help me out people. I think the basis of cheating is because somehow a person is filling a void.

How To Resist The Urge To Cheat On Your Partner

What I think is important to know is its temporarily going to numb the pain but not heal it. On the other habd tho in order for there to be healing the person cheating also needs a level of commitment from the one they are cheating on. For example if the cheater has always made effort to conmunicate and their partner tunes it out then sooner or later they will again seek a sympathetic ear.

Often the affair starts because the so called victim stopped doing their part. Thanks for sharing these resources on how to stop relationship cheating! I stopped my husband from cheating. I was devastated with I found out he was having an affair, but a friend gave me this book, I read it and now my marriage is stronger than ever. I highly recommend the book to all couples.

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Want to Blossom? Get my free "Echoes of Joy" email! Tags: emotional affairs in relationships how to get over cheating how to reconnect with your spouse how to stop cheating how to stop thinking about your ex husband lying about cheating. Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Starlite March 27, at am. Lady Dee February 18, at pm. Steve October 15, at pm. Ell October 11, at pm. I would appreciate any guidance or resources on ending an affair, both physical and online. Becky September 28, at am. Anne June 2, at pm. Sophie January 18, at am.

Dear Ale, your story is mine, completely. I feel you, sister. Hugs and healing to you. Jason January 15, at am. Frank November 19, at pm.